


Torn from you

by Kurttheangel



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Arwen deserves to be happy, BAMF Arwen Undómiel, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gimli is great, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), My First AO3 Post, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Aragorn, Out of Character Legolas Greenleaf, POV Legolas Greenleaf, Protective Aragorn, Rinhael is confused, Suicide Attempt, aralas - Freeform, dont be mean, kind Gimli, protect Arwen, sad legolas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29285382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kurttheangel/pseuds/Kurttheangel
Summary: 'My world began to shatter as I saw the the two lovers kiss. Aragorn, the man I loved and Arwen, the woman whom he loves. My heart was breaking inside and the crowds around me were unclear as the only thing that I could focus on now, in the world was my worst nightmare but also reality.'
Relationships: Aragorn | Estel & Gimli (Son of Glóin) & Legolas Greenleaf, Aragorn | Estel & Legolas Greenleaf, Aragorn | Estel/Legolas Greenleaf, Arwen Undómiel/Original Male Character(s), Gimli (Son of Glóin) & Legolas Greenleaf
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Leaving

Legolas's PoV: 

My world began to shatter as I saw the two lovers kiss; Aragorn, the man I loved and Arwen, the woman whom he loves. My heart was breaking inside and the crowds around me were unclear as the only thing that I could focus on now, in this world was my worst nightmare but also reality. 

I had loved Aragorn ever since the beginning of the fellowship and when an elf loves someone but they don't love them back then...they can die of heartbreak and that is exactly what was happening to me. I tried not to let any tears flow down my cheeks as there would be too many questions that would be too overpowering to answer. So I stood there and watched as they kissed each other with love.  
I continued to stare in horror as they broke apart and looked at each other lovingly, lovingly. That could never be me. It would never be me, he deserves Arwen. 

When I was younger I longed for someone whom I could love but now I realise that love kills and breaks hearts. I don't want to be in love with him anymore. It hurts. But what could I do to stop the pain? The answer was nothing. I should suffer in silence until this nightmare called 'love' ends...if it ever does.

I cannot stay here anymore, I have to leave I decided. I very slowly walked through the busy crowd of men, women, elves and children. Getting many questioning looks but I did not care because I was about to break. I could feel Aragorn's eyes on me so I hurried and walked down the alabaster steps towards the exit of Gondor. What I need is a break and my love for him will be over and I shall find someone else to love so I can live on instead of dying and disappointing my father. 

My feet carried me to my horse and I gave one last look at Gondor. Should I really leave? I am supposed to be happy for Aragorn, this is the day that he would become king he would want me to be there. But yet again I can't face the pain of seeing him with Arwen. 

I stared at Arod for a few minutes as if asking him what he thought, but he obviously couldn't answer so it was up to me to decide on my fate. If I left then I would be free from the endless pain of heartbreak but then again Aragorn would miss me and I know it would break his heart to see the person whom he had fought alongside in battle with to just leave without any explanation. But he has Arwen to be comforted by. 

I decided what I should do and I swung my leg over my horse and galloped away into the distance. The wind blew back my golden hair and I thought of Aragorn...and his wife "Aragorn is better off without me, I am no more than a burden" I muttered to myself. 

I wanted to see my father again. He was the only other person who I love as much as Aragorn and I know that he would understand my difficulties but I can't tell him. I can't tell Gimli either or even Gandalf. My worries stay with me and I should keep them, not let them bother other people who already have enough on their mind. They do not need to know about a silly elf with a broken heart. 

A tear fell from my eye and before I knew it I was crying and the morning air blew them away. I rode for miles but then Arod began to get tired so I decided to stop and camp on open land for the night. I sat next to a river that flowed along the plains and I sighed, enjoying the company of nature. Why must all land be covered by castles when nature is the better beautifulness? 

I lay down on the grass and put my face in my hands. Aragorn is king now I can't let him worry about me. Apart of me really wanted Aragorn to be here with me but I shook that thought away quickly.


	2. Back again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli confronts Legolas about his sudden departure.

Gimli's PoV: 

I saw the elf leave and I hurried after him concerned. Wasn't he supposed to be there and support Aragorn when he became king? Something is off and I need to find out what... 

I raced down the stairs with my short legs, Legolas had always been correct about my running, I can't do long distance. I can only do fast sprinting for a certain amount of time. How am I going to ride a horse by myself anyway? I grumbled in my head. 

I don't want to admit that I am worried otherwise he would probably tease me about it. I don't even know myself why I am so worried, I guess it is just because of the look on his face when he walked out; purely shattered. What if he just needed to leave early to go back to Mirkwood? I would look like a right fool if that is the case. Blame it on that elf.

I approached the stable doors and I ran to get any horse available...and the smallest. The first one I saw was a perfect grey coloured one which I instantly chose. He wouldn't have gone far, would he? Surely Arod would need a rest as well. I jumped on the tiny laddie and rode into the sunset. I wonder what he is doing now? Probably sulking about something. 

I rode for what seemed like hours until I finally saw an outline of the familiar elf and his horse, although this time he was hunched over with his head rested on his knees and his face in his hands. I definitely knew something was really wrong now as he would usually sense if someone is near and instantly stand up with his bow and arrow in hand. This time he was just completely still, not showing any interaction with the world...just sitting there as if had just given up on everything. 

Arod was fast asleep next to him, signalling that he had probably pelted from Gondor and his breathing slowly disturbed Legolas's golden hair as it flowed about in the wind. I sat down next to him on the riverside and coughed slightly in my gruff voice indicating my presence. His head perked up and I could barely make out the outlines of his facial features in the dark sky. His eyes were clouded with sadness like someone had just sucked all of the happiness from them but he instantly covered it when he saw me. Legolas sat up straighter in his normal posture and laid back on the grass, humming softly. 

"Why are you doing here Gimli?" His smooth voice called out to me as if just seconds ago he hadn't looked completely vulnerable to the world. 

"Following you o'course" he looked over to me slightly although I could not see it in the darkness I could tell that he was giving me an annoyed look. That is what I don't like about elves, they think that other creatures can't show any emotion besides themselves. 

"Why? You should be with Aragorn" he said with a slight pained tone making my brain explode with thoughts. Now I am really confused. 

"So should you" he shook his head "why did ya leave?" 

"Merely Mirkwood business, my father has ensured that I return immediately. I think he might've missed me" even though he tried to make it seem as reliable of an answer as possible, I could tell that it was a lie as he would not leave without even saying goodbye to anyone, not even a bird that he had seen. 

"Laddie, We both know that is a lie. You would not leave without saying goodbye, especially to good friends" I huffed out while sounding a bit too soft for someone like me. 

He seemed a little angry at my answer and sat up, looking me in the eyes with a piercing glare that could brake down anyone's confidence "I left at my own choice, the timing was not perfect but it had to be done!" 

"I understand that, but tell the truth, why did you leave?" I grumbled in annoyance but he just looked back at me, his expression never changing in the darkness. 

His eyes softened slightly but he still looked aggravated as he stared down at the flowing water beneath him as if in a trance "you...you would not understand" 

I frowned slightly at his words. He sounded so sad and nervous, it was unbelievable how someone who you always looked at as brave was now trying to hide depressing thoughts from everyone around him, including his best friends "how do you know if you don't tell me?" 

"Even if you would understand, it can't change how things already are. I want to keep this secret hidden until I die...if I do" it must be a pretty dark secret then. 

"Fine but at least come back to Gondor, just to say goodbye to everyone ya'know?" 

"No" his answer shocked me and I recoiled back slightly. 

"Yes," I said quite concerned 

"No"

"Yes"

"No" 

"Yes" 

"If you don't shut up then I will chuck you in this river and wait until you float up on orc land" he threatened me. 

"You know there are no orcs left right?" 

"Whatever!" He said and I chuckled a bit. 

"You know, you are being very grumpy," I said after a bit of silence and he groaned loudly. 

"Am not" 

"Are too" 

"Am not" 

"Are-" before I could say another word, I was pushed into the shallow water but I was too fast and I grabbed onto his arm and pulled him in with me, wiping the smirk clean off his face as the icy cold water devoured us and started dragging us away. Luckily the water was only shallow so I stood up and walked towards the shoreline where Legolas already was, sulking with his damp hair stuck to his forehead. 

"Was that the first time you have had a bath?" He said. I grumbled and pulled myself onto the land again "you look like a stroppy Gandalf that has just come out of the shower" he laughed loudly at his own silly joke. 

"You look like king Thranduil if he would've jumped into the river after the dwarfs that escaped his prison" I retaliated. We both laughed loudly, forgetting about the coldness of our clothes. 

"I remember how strict he was towards me after that, I still don't forgive your father for breaking out" 

We sat in comfortable silence for a while. I could tell that he was trying to make me forget about that conversation but I would not give up so easily. As the night went on, I started to piece things together so I could try and figure out what is going on with him. 

He left when they were just about to thank Frodo. When they broke up from the kiss. He walked away with a broken expression. Could he possibly be jealous? But of Aragorn or Arwen? He always looked at Aragorn longingly when he thought no one was looking and he always seemed that a part of him broke when he talked about Arwen during the quest. It all made sense now! He loved Aragorn. 

I decided to speak up and break the silence. He needed someone to trust. I know that he does not give his trust out easily but we have known each other for a while now, surely he would trust me to help him through this. 

"You love Aragorn don't you?"


	3. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli learns a horrible truth

Legolas's PoV: 

How could he possibly know? I didn't make it obvious did I? Oh Valar what if Aragorn knew? I started to have a mini panic attack inside my head as I hurriedly tried to form out an answer without stuttering.....let's just say that it did not go as planned "N-no I don't...I just...I d-don't" I mentally scolded myself at not being able to keep my Elven gracefulness. Now he is never going to believe me! 

"You think I haven't figured it out yet?" I silently started panicking and begging that he was just kidding around. He seemed serious though. Maybe I did not hide it well. "You always look at him in that longing was when you think that no one is looking and the way you always get nervous around him, the way you look like someone has just torn out your heart whenever he talks about Arwen in a loving way. It's obvious you love him, I don't know how no one else can see it" 

I sighed a bit relieved that he actually thought that no one else knew "did I really make it that o-obvious?" He chuckled slightly but then he looked at me and realised that I was about to cry with as I turned back into the position I was in before he arrived. 

He shuffled closer to me and patted my shoulder roughly "Look laddie" I looked at him in the eyes, finding some sense of comfort and I let a few tears leak from my eyes. He had never seen me cry before so he looked a bit shocked but carried on nevertheless "some things we can't change, especially what we feel. Once I knew this beautiful dwarf lady, that I loved very dearly but when I confessed, she threw mud on my face" I couldn't hold back a chuckle at that and we both laughed "but my point is, love hurts but it also cannot be forgotten that is why I promise to be by your side until everything is sorted out" 

He was probably expecting a thank you or a soft smile but what we both did not expect was for me to hug him tightly "I'm sorry I had to cause you trouble my friend. I'm sorry I'm a burden. I'm sorry about everything". 

"Your neither a burden or trouble. You are my friend, don't apologise for what you cannot change. I want to go through this with you...I sound a bit too soft for a dwarf don't I?" 

I pulled back and looked at him in the eyes "Gimli son of gloin, I never expect you to be a comforting one" he turned beet red and chuckled nervously but then I remembered something "I might die" 

"What?" He looked at me really surprised. 

"Gimli I haven't told you?" I now had tears streaming down my face painfully as my hands were clenched into the grass. Pain. All I could feel was pain. This whirlpool of emptiness in my stomach can leave me alone for me to wallow in my own self-pity and the next moment it would be back, ready to devour and overcome my body with grief. "I...I can die of heartbreak, the t-the only way for me to live is if he loves me back. That will not happen though, he will live on and love Arwen with all his heart. I-i don't want him to worry about me! He should live on and not have to worry about a stupid elf!" I slammed my fists on the floor in anger as my tears dropped from my eyes and fell into the river to be washed away. My damp hair flowed across my saddened face and struck upon Gimli's trembling figure. 

"I-I can't let you d-die, is there no other way?" Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he held them back. 

"N-no and t-there n-never will be a s-second choice Gimli. I'm sorry, t-this is all my f-fault. I should've never fallen in love with him" 

"How long do you have left to live?" 

I thought for a while before answering "roughly 10 y-years. That goes in the blink of an eye for an elf! I don't want to die yet! I-I can't..." I broke down into tears and suddenly a sharp pain had filled my stomach and I hunched over in pure agony. I groaned slightly and mumbled "it's begun. I will f-fade" Gimli hugged me tightly...very tightly and I was glad to have a friend like him...a best friend, I don't know what I would do without him. 

"I won't let you fade" he mumbled as gigantic tears splashed onto my head. 

"Gimli there I-is nothing you can do" 

"Fine but I want the last ten years of your life to be happy ones so come on! We are going back to Gondor and then you can see your father or maybe your father can visit you himself!" He stood up and pulled me up with him but this time I did not refuse. I guess I could hold back my feelings for a while longer.


	4. Back again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli and Legolas head back to Gondor

Aragorn's PoV: 

Gimli and Legolas had left roughly five hours ago and I was beginning to get worried, I mean who wouldn't? They were the people whom I had fought alongside with in battle and I can't just let them leave otherwise I don't know how I would cope doing this alone. 

Being king is hard. It's not like it is in the tales I've heard where they can just wear a crown and sit in a throne. I have to do paperwork constantly and order people around when I don't want to although it is my first day, what can I expect? I would rather still be a ranger than rule a kingdom of people. Arwen has been a real help, she can lighten any mood even in the darkest of hours when all of my hope seems to fade. I don't know what I would do without her, she is like the other piece to my heart and if it breaks than I would die. 

I was sat down at my desk finishing some paperwork about orphans that need help in the city, they said that after I had finished this than I could return back to the celebration, even if I ordered them they still forced me into work. 

My mind kept drifting off to my two friends that were in the wild and I longed to join them, even though my longing, I still had an urge of panic that forced me to tense up in worry. What if they had gotten attacked on the way? No orcs left Aragorn what if they had an argument that ended up in a fight? They are more mature now Aragorn you are treating them like children that is why I am worried, they still act like children and they are very dear to me. 

I slammed my fist on the table in frustration and I felt a cool, soothing hand rub my back. "Aragorn, leave the papers for now and come and join in on the celebration, it is what you deserve" 

"You know what happened an hour ago when I tried the same thing? I can't" she sat down beside me on the edge of the seat and moved my face so that I was looking into those mesmerisingly beautiful, azure eyes of hers. I calmed at the touch of her pale hand on my cheek and I closed my eyes softly. 

"It is not that is it? Somethings bothering you, I can sense it" I lifted held her hand and kissed it softly. 

"I am worried about Legolas and Gimli, they had just left five hours ago without any explanation! What if they are hurt? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for letting them go" I broke away from our gaze and dropped her hand. 

"Calm down Aragorn" but I wouldn't, my mind was overpowered with thoughts and there was nothing I could do to stop them, even as much as I tried "they probably just want to go their separate ways, they have not been in the company of their own kind in a long while" this just angered me even more. Did I really not mean that much to them that they couldn't even say goodbye? A part of me broke as I thought that and I stood up from my seat, making Arwen's Look turn worried in the process. 

"I want to find them, just to give a proper goodbye," I said as calmly as I could muster. In all truth, I wanted to shout at them about how careless they were to forget me. 

Arwen grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back but I would have none of it so I turned around to face her "Arwen they are my friends, they mean a lot to me" 

Arwen gave me a sympathetic look "Aragorn you are king now, you have a job that you cannot back away from. These people need you...I need you. Please just stay, for me" 

"Arwen, you don't understand, I have been beside Legolas and Gimli's side throughout the whole journey to me becoming king. They have saved my life countless times...especially Legolas and I can't just let them go" I looked at her in the eyes pleadingly "just because I am going to be gone for a while, it doesn't mean that I am never coming back" 

"Aragorn I gave up my immortal life for you, the least you can do is stay by my side. I need you too" I kissed her forehead and rounded the corner without her following although I wasn't looking where I was going and I bumped into someone, causing us both to fall down. Water-soaked through my clothing and I looked up confused and annoyed. That was when my eyes widened in shock as I saw the familiar elf above me, he was blushing and his hair was damp for some reason. Last time I checked, it wasn't raining. 

"Legolas, where In Valar were you? And where is Gimli!" I shouted angrily. The little dwarf stepped out from beside Legolas and I realised that I and Legolas were still in the same position. Gimli beard and hair was also wet. I stood up and wiped my clothes with my hands as I felt water soak through them onto my skin. Legolas stepped back and didn't utter a word so Gimli spoke up. 

"We uh went out for a ride on our horses, just to give them a bit of fresh air ya know?" The dwarf stated rather calmly but I didn't fully believe him. Being raised by elves helped me in a lot of ways, one thing being that Elrond taught me how to see if any elf, dwarf or human was lying. This just happened to be a simple one where they stutter. 

"I don't believe you, why would you even leave in the middle of my coronation?!" 

"Okay fine, Legolas really needed to go to the toilet and I followed after him as I didn't have a clue where he was of to at the time" he stated calmly. 

"For five hours?!" I was overwhelmed. Why would they lie to me anyway? It's not that much of a deal. 

"I'm sorry it is my fault, I saw a forest in the distance and I felt lonely without the company of trees so I walked over with Gimli and I talked to the trees...there seemed to be more than I expected that wanted attention from me. I'm sorry Aragorn, please forgive us" he looked into my eyes and gave me puppy eyes look, my eyes widened slightly and for some reason, I instantly succumbed to his words and smiled slightly. 

"No need to worry Legolas, I know how much you miss your kin, I can't begin to imagine how you feel without them. I'm sorry I should never have stopped you from visiting them" I placed my hand on his shoulder and he placed his on mine. 

"Speaking of my kin, can my father visit soon? I really miss him but I also want to spend time with you so I decided that this was the best option..." 

"Of course he can visit Legolas" I then looked between the elf and the dwarf "Why is your hair wet?" 

"Don't ask" Gimli burst out laughing while Legolas just grumbled and walked ahead of us "I believe there is a celebration Aragorn? Come and join in on it, it is your coronation after all" I turned around to get Arwen but she had already walked off ahead so I walked between the two, happily.


	5. Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aragorn gets drunk

Aragorn's PoV: 

"Legolas aren't you going to change? They would be a bit surprised if they see a prince soaked to the skin" I stated as we walked on, I noticed that Legolas kept his head high and put on a smile to everyone that walked by. I was slightly amused at this as they all looked at him with confused expressions, nevertheless seeing their king with an elf and a dwarf might be a weird experience. 

"Aragorn I cannot feel the cold and my hair and clothes are drying already, it's not like I'm going to die if people just look at me" I placed my hand on his arm to just check, he tensed slightly but then calmed down again and his theory was correct because his clothes were drying "honestly Aragorn I thought you grew up beside elves" he did seem a bit calmer than earlier when he wouldn't even say a word to me and he kept pausing. I hope I wasn't that frightening. 

"I believe you, come on then my friends let's go and enjoy ourselves" we walked into the hall and we were greeted with the stench of alcohol, the chattering people and the singing of old songs. Everyone quietened when they saw their king and bowed slightly. A guard, who I think was called Leoni, came over to me. I despised him as much as I despised the ring and it had only been my first day! He was arrogant, irritating and always had an expressionless face. "Are you not supposed to be working?" He asked and tilted his head while showing no fear. He had blond, short hair and silver eyes that held a lot of anger behind them. 

I usually wouldn't get angry but now I was infuriated "Aren't you supposed to be following your king's orders?" 

He clenched his teeth slightly as if having a self argument "then what do you plan for me to do...my king" he spat out king as if it was Sauron himself that was standing in front of him. 

"I plan to spend this night celebrating with my people, that is an order. Today it will only be a warning but the next time you order around your king then you will be punished. Now celebrate with us, Leoni, after all, we have just destroyed the one ring" 

He didn't even apologise he just mumbled "it's laonri" and then walked off. 

People began walking up to us and congratulating me on becoming king, I returned with a thank you each time. I still wasn't used to having constant attention from people, it was rather terrifying knowing that everyone knew my name. But I'm not going to give up now because I'm doing this for everyone who has given up their lives for me, even Boromir and if I was to back down then it would be a disgrace to their memory. Legolas had gone to get us drinks while I walked over to Arwen, who was sitting down at a table with her graceful dress on when she noticed me she stood up and walked over to me. 

"Aragorn listen, I'm sorry about what I said, I never really meant to say anything that would hurt you...I just wanted you to stay, but now that I think back on it, I was being too selfish" 

"Arwen, it's fine, it's my fault I shouldn't have gotten so worried" I kissed her softly on the lips and we looked at each other lovingly. 

"I'm glad you understand, now let's join Legolas and Gimli, I'm sure they would both be missing your presence" she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the two soldiers, who were drinking and chatting quietly. When we approached I saw Gimli glance at Legolas worriedly and I tilted my head a bit but then shrugged it off. 

"Legolas, how wonderful to see you again. It has been too long" she greeted him formally. 

"Lady Arwen, it indeed has been too long" they put their hands to their hearts and bowed slightly in an eleven greeting. I found myself walking over to Gimli to get the drink that he had got me so I could give them space to talk together and catch up. 

"Why are you two soaking wet," Arwen asked and I shrugged my shoulders at her, having no clue. 

Legolas sighed "I am not wet anymore, it is drying off" 

"Why were you wet anyway?" My voice called out, still barely audible from the loud talking of people surrounding us. 

"Gimli was annoying me so I pushed him into a river but he pulled me in with him" I raised my eyebrows a bit concerned about their fight, at least it didn't go physical. 

"You both act like a child" and I am not lying. I would never lie. throughout the whole journey to Mordor, they were having childish arguments and only at the last minute did they even realise that they wanted to be friends, yet they still fight even now. 

"You act like your a ki-Oh Wait, you are a king...nevermind" I chuckled and took a swig of my drink and I glanced down at the red-bearded dwarf, smirking I said "since I am your king, I order you to get me another drink" 

He walked away but I heard him mumble "who's the childish one now?" 

He came back and said sarcastically "here you go my king" before bowing and handing me it, it smelled really alcoholic and I cringed slightly as it made contact with my lips. 

"Gimli can you get me another drink?" Legolas asked. 

"No," Gimli said stubbornly. 

"Excuse me I am the prince of Mirkwood you cannot disobey me," Legolas said with a hint of amusement in his voice as he leaned against a wall. 

"Don't you start, I'm not getting any drink for you" Gimli huffed in annoyance. 

"Why did you get one for Aragorn then?" 

"He has had a rough day and he deserves one" he gave a slight smirk and I raised my eyebrows in confusion. Gimli whispered something to Legolas and Arwen and they all burst out laughing but I just took another sip of my drink and shook off their craziness. 

(I have never been drunk before so I really don't know how to put this sorry if it is terrible 😖) After a few more glasses I began to become dizzy and everything around me was a blur, I could still hear the chatter of people and the laughing of my friends and wife. I spun my head around to their direction and stumbled towards them. I caught a glimpse of Legolas and I grabbed his arm with my rough hands. For some reason, I started laughing and pulling at his hair "leggowwwlas you look funny" 

"No-no I don't" 

"Yes you do, your hair is all damp, c-can I chop it off?" 

"No I love my hair, Aragorn I think you should l-" he stumbled on his words. 

"Can I plait it?" I looked at him pleadingly but he just looked back with a scared expression as if I had just turned into some type of monster. Arwen was grinning in the background and I became a bit angry "what are you laughing at" her face turned a bit colder as she walked towards me and placed a hand on my cheek. I calmed down at her touch but I still didn't escape the loopiness that I was in.

"Aragorn I think you should rest" 

"Good idea" I sat down on the floor and cuddled Arwen and Legolas's legs, using them as a pillow as the consciousness drifted from me.


	6. Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aragorn deals with the aftermath of the celebration.

Aragorn's PoV: 

I woke up on a familiar soft blanket with no idea how I got there. My head pounded and throbbed my skull as it felt as if my head was breaking apart. I groaned and sat up, rubbing my head I looked to the side and saw my beloved Arwen. 

She was looking at me concerned and slightly expectant "quel amrun melleth nin (good morning my love)" her soft brown hair flowed down her back and Her turquoise eyes shone in the sunlight, just the sight of her could lighten any terrible day even if you woke up with a headache. 

Nausea swept over me and I broke contact from the one I love, Arwen reached out and placed a bucket ready for me. I poured out the food I had consumed the night before and the sickly smell only worsened my sick state. "Aragorn I know that you are not all well but there is something I need to tell you?" Her serious tone made my pale face snap up to look at her. 

"What is it?" 

"Laonri just called in while you were resting, he said that you promised to finish the paperwork today" I groaned loudly and lay back down with my hair sticking out at the sides of my face. 

"I don't feel well" my sick voice groaned out as another wave of nausea flowed over my body, I sat up and emptied my stomach again. 

She laid her hand on my back and stroked it softly "Aragorn remember, this is what you are expected to do as a king. Your father went through it and now it is up to you" 

"I'm not my father" 

"Exactly, so make a better impression than he did on mankind," Arwen said encouragingly "Aragorn...please. I wouldn't make you do it if it wasn't that important" 

"Okay...but you will be with me today won't you?" I looked at her expression but she just looks at the blanket doubtfully and I already knew my answer. 

"Actually I was thinking of spending the day with Èowyn you see I just wanted to catch up with her, we haven't seen each other in a long while" I pulled the cover over my head as my headache never stopped, I felt betrayed, she was supposed to be there on my first day of work but I felt too weak to argue so I just pretended that I didn't mind. "I can stay if you want? I won't mind cancelling thi-" 

"No! You enjoy the day with your friend, you deserve to see her particularly after everything that has happened" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive" 

"Will you be fine by yourself?" 

I stood up and walked over to her trying desperately not to glance at the sun as it would trigger my headache "Arwen stop worrying" I stroked her cheek as I could still see doubt and worry in her eyes "I'll be fine" she leaned in to kiss me but I backed away "Sick remember?" 

"Okay, take it easy today melleth nin" 

"I'll be fine" I murmured to myself as she walked out the door without saying another word. The warmness of her presence left the room with her and I felt lonely and sick once again without her company. 

How did I even get here? I sat down my bed once again and I was soo tempted to just lay back down for the rest of the day but the pressure of being king stopped that. I heard a knock at the door and I muttered a Come in, expecting to see a servant, I was greeted by Legolas who stood there a bit worriedly like Arwen. "Is there something you need Legolas?" 

"I was just wondering if you were okay, you see Gimli have you really strong alcohol last night...I-I tried to stop him, b-but he didn't. I will understand if you are mad" I smirked a bit as I vividly remember seeing Legolas laugh along with them. 

"Hush, it's okay I'm not mad. I'm just a bit confused as to what happened" a light pink dusted on his cheeks and I questioned myself slightly. The sun was now up and it was giving my head an excruciating torture session. The sickness had stopped but I still felt terrible. My eyes grew wide as he began to explain what happened. "Legolas I'm sorry" 

He just laughed and I felt a bit relieved that he did not think me stupid for acting like that "it's fine but what I am worried about is your health" he came over to me and placed his hand on my forehead "you are burning up Aragorn, you can't work today" 

"I'm fine, besides laonri will go hysterical if he finds out that I have not done anything. Nevertheless, I am doing this for the people in my city that need help" he stared at me with his piercing blue eyes that tried to hypnotise me to stay in bed. 

"Aragorn, I understand but you have plenty of time to do this in the futur-" just Then laonri burst through the door and growled when he saw that I still hadn't moved "calm down, I am coming out now" 

Suddenly Legolas raised his voice and I was shocked to see how much he actually cared, he blocked Laonri's path and looked him in the eyes "Aragorn cannot work today, he is overheating and by the way he is acting I can tell that he has a headache and feels sick" 

Laonri just looked over his shoulder and spoke up "my king be working when you are ready, understand you made a promise" 

"Indeed I did and in that case laonri, I ask you to leave my room" I spoke up beginning to get annoyed at his attitude, he walked off while smirking and Legolas slammed the door loudly "what did you do that for? You are not well Aragorn!" 

"Legolas Mellon nin, I will be fine, you worry like Arwen" his face shot in the direction of me an for one I felt vulnerable. 

"Where is Arwen!?" He said as he turned around fully to look at me. 

"She wanted to spend the day with Èowyn to catch up, I let her so don't bring her into this" I calmly explained. 

"She-" I became a bit infuriated at his choice of words, how dare he act as if she was a mere object! 

"Her name is Arwen and I highly suggest you keep it that way!" 

"I'm sorry" he looked down at the floor with guilt and sadness in his eyes. 

"No Legolas, you need not worry so much, understand that I am king now and this cannot get in my way. I will work today and note that it has been said under my orders" I was, to say the least really worried about his attitude and demeanour. He has been acting too overprotective of me even though he should understand what I say to him is the truth. 

"No Aragorn, I am sorry I just got too worried, I shouldn't have acted like that especially after everything that you have done for me" 

"I said that there was no need to apologise Legolas" I huffed out annoyedly. 

"At least let me stay with you today to keep an eye on you, you know" 

"Ookayy," I said slightly amused. He turned to look at me and smiled.


	7. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas ponders over old memories

Legolas's PoV: 

We were sitting down at his desk, his head in his hand and my eyes scanning his work as if I was his mother. Throughout the whole time he was working I had constantly glanced at him worried. I knew that he was getting uncomfortable at my constant worrying but that would not stop me from looking after him. "Mellon, are you sure you will not leave this day to rest?" 

"Legolas" he looked at me sternly with those pale silver eyes that were clouded with sickness and I found myself growing worried "I have made my decision, it is important and I do not wish to let down Arwen" he looked back down at his work with his quill in his hand and began working again, frustrated. 

"Of course, Arwen won't be happy if she sees you not doing any work" I then mumbled to myself "then again, she won't be happy if she sees you throwing up all over your work" 

"What?" he raised his eyebrow questioningly. 

"Nothing" I lied. 

I looked down at the floor a bit sadly as i thought about Arwen just leaving Aragorn to deal with work when he is ill, Aragorn caught my sad glance and he placed a hand on my shoulder. Butterflies fluttered inside of me as I turned to look into his pale eyes. "Legolas, please leave me for today" sadness flooded me. I don't want to leave him, who will look after him if not me or Arwen? 

"But-" 

"You worry too much and it is making me not get much work done" I felt helpless. That is all I am and that is all I will ever be. Helpless. I cannot do one thing without someone telling me that they don't need me there. But I already know that it has happened so much to me that I can say that I am used to it. 

The whirlpool of thoughts inside my head forced me to look back up into the eyes of the human of whom I loved and I responded trying to not sound disappointed "I'm deeply sorry, I shall leave you be" I smiled slightly. 

"Is there something wrong Legolas?" his eyes were full of concern and I completely forgot that he could see through any lie or fake emotions which was exactly what I was doing as I began to exit the room with that all known fake smile on my face. 

I turned around to face him and put a smile on my face, trying to hide the hurt "I am fine Aragorn, you should get on with your work, before anyone else disturbs you" he looked at me questioningly as I left the room so he could be with his thoughts and let his mind wander off to his paperwork. 

I realised that I should go and find Gimli, for some form of comfort or maybe to scold him of what he did to Aragorn last night. As my light feet led me down the hallway, the sound of babies cries and chatter filled my Elven ears as a haunting memory struck me. 

~

~flashback~

As my light feet led me down the hallway, the sound of babies cries and chatter filled my Elven ears. The news that Aragorn falling off the cliff broke my heart. I cannot imagine him in the foamy pool of water, being drifted away down the stream as his soul would slip from his body. I cannot live with it. I cannot live without him. He is my life, the other piece to my heart. Even if he will never love me back, I know that I will always feel that way towards him. Grief powered my body and I fell to the floor with Arwen's evenstar clutched in my hand so tightly that it drew blood. The only thing left of him, the evenstar, the last part of him that will ever be seen again. I scrunched my face up in agony as tears poured out of my eyes and onto the floor. 

"Sir are you okay?" I felt a hand on my shoulder and I stood up, I no longer cared if anyone saw me in pain because it would be a disgrace to his memory if I didn't seem sad about his death. I turned around to see a woman with brown hair and blue eyes but as soon as she noticed my Elven ears and I could tell from her expression that she recognised my face, she walked away while muttering an apology. 

I was in utter shock as more tears of mine fell to the floor. My whole world had come crashing down at the thought that no one could care because I was the son of a king. I loved Aragorn so much, I was ready to die for him to be with him, that is how much I cared about him. I prayed and prayed to valar that he somehow survived the fall and that he would come back to me, but it was hopeless. It is not like an elflings story that my father used to read to me when I was a child, where someone can come back to life by just saying a wish. But it wasn't like that, Those sorts of things don't happen in real life, the reality was much worse and can't be changed. So there I stood as I wallowed in my thoughts as constant tears poured down my cheeks. No one seems to care. No one is allowed to care. 

When I saw Aragorn, I was relieved and I had to stop myself from hugging him to death, but deep down as much as I would never want to admit, I knew that my suffering would never be over. 

~end of flashback~

~

I had to hold back tears as I recalled what I told myself that day, knowing that all that I said was true. I am not expected to cry, I can't cry any more, after all, all of my tears have already been shed and I would find myself dying of dehydration if another tear escapes my pained eyes.


	8. Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas is confronted by a concerned Gimli

Gimli's PoV: 

I stumbled through the hallway of Gondor. I was on my way to see Aragorn as I needed to speak with him about the amount of time that I shall stay, I have been meaning to visit my fellow dwarfs but with all the drama going on I haven't had the time. The sound of my metal boots clanking against the floor filled the corridor as I walked, these were the boots from Thorin himself and I liked to keep them on as a reminder that every soul will live on as long as those who keep the past with them will tread their steps through their journey. 

The echoing noise of a whimper caught my attention and I growled slightly thinking that it was just a child who had gotten lost. I pulled in the kindest smile I could muster, which was hard as dwarf smiles look scarier than human or elf smiles can be, I turned the corner but I was faced with not what I expected and my face fell. 

Legolas was stood their, his skin a deathly pale and a broken look on his face as if someone had just torn his soul from his body and left behind an empty shell. We were both frozen in shock, staring into each other's horrified eyes as countless seconds passed between our gazes before one of us decided to speak up "Aragorn wishes to not be disturbed, Gimli" 

"B-what?" I stuttered as various humans walked by me with obvious confusion in my voice.

"What do you mean Mellon?" Legolas spoke, completely oblivious to his present appearance.

"You bump into me and the first thing you say to me is that!" I growled rather angrily. 

"Than what would you rather me say?" He said, his voice rising a bit as his eyebrow arched. I could clearly tell that he was trying to cover up something with an emotionless mask as just moments before I had seen him look completely vulnerable to any sort of danger. 

"For starters, why your so pale, crying and walking out of Aragorn's office looking like you were killed?" His face paled more, of that was even possible and he stared at me with a terrified look in his eyes. "What happened that's could possibly make you like that?" I spoke my thoughts out loud. 

"It is nothing" he began to walk by me but I had grabbed onto his shaking wrist "Gimli please" 

"If you do tell me then I will ask Aragorn what happened" I threatened as I stared into his pale eyes that were now clouded with panic. I began to walk when he didn't answer but that was when I felt a firm grip on my shoulder. 

"No don't!" 

"Why?" I questioned. 

"I will tell you but please don't ask him" 

"Speak then" I demanded. 

"Just thoughts" I looked at him, still confused. 

"About what?" He was now looking at the floor with sadness plastered on his face, just like I had seen him before as if he had just taken down the barrier that protected his true self. A true self that he could only show to me. 

"I do not wish to worry you as it will only do so if I shall answer your question" 

I placed my and on his shoulder and forced him to look down at me "laddie, I don't care how bad it is, I can take it and I want to help you" 

"No Gimli you shouldn't help me, I do not wish to draw you any deeper into my worries that I am too weak to handle. you have helped me so much and I thank you for that but now it is time for me to handle some of my own problems by myself" 

"It's about Aragorn isn't it?" He sighed and began to walk away. 

"It's sai- ner than tanya (it's much more than that)" heard him mutter in his elvish tongue and he then walked off into the distance. 

"I take that as a yes" I sighed and looked around grumpily before processing what just happened. 

~

Legolas's PoV: (This is before he sees Gimli btw)

I had to hold back tears as I recalled what I told myself that day, knowing that all that I said was true. I am not expected to cry, I can't cry any more, after all, all of my tears have already been shed and I would find myself dying of dehydration if another tear escapes my pained eyes. 

I walked down the corridor on my way to see Gimli, with horrible thoughts still playing in my mind. I am unneeded and worthless. Legolas, do you really think that Gimli would even want to help you? He was only faking it so he didn't have to put up with the constant self-pity that you lay on him. Drown in your misery. End the suffering of those around you. Your father doesn't love you, your mother died when you were too weak to help her and Aragorn, he has a beautiful wife yet you still hope that he will love you? He wants children and you can't give him that. You are an elf, a weak and worthless one that no one will ever want to love. End the others suffering don't lay it on everyone else. 

I cried, I just cried as I thought about what I knew was true. Liquid cascaded down my cheeks and I hurriedly wiped them away, fearing for anyone to see me in this state. A knife-like pain filled my body as I backed up against the wall, dizziness filling my clouded eyes. So this is what it feels like to fade? I fear that I have less time than I let on. I saw Gimli turn the corner and his eyes filled with pure shock at the sight of me. As I still didn't know my true state, I acted confused "Aragorn wishes to not be disturbed Gimli" 

"B-What?" 

"What do you mean Mellon?" In all truth, I wanted to get to my chambers so that this horrible feeling might pass without any concerned glances. Gimli just stared at me, giving me no chance to get a move on. 

"You bump into me and the first thing you say to me is that!" 

"Than what would you rather me say?" I raised my voice, getting aggravated by his growing anger. 

"For starters, why your so pale, crying and walking out of Aragorn's office looking like you had just been killed?" I felt my face pale but I covered it quickly as I looked down at the floor. "What happened that's could possibly make you like that?" 

"It is nothing" he grabbed onto my shaking wrist "Gimli please" 

"If you do tell me then I will ask Aragorn what happened" He threatened and panic overcame me. 

"No don't!" I said panicked as people walked by us, fearing that one of them might be Aragorn or Arwen maybe listening in on our conversation. 

"Why?" I felt sick inside at the thought of him going up to Aragorn as asking why I looked like a ghost. Aragorn figure out easily what was wrong with me since he grew up with elves. I tried not to imagine the look on his face I he found out but it kept getting into my mind. 

"I will tell you but please don't ask him" 

"Speak then" he demanded. I was now close to collapsing through my state. My vision was now so bad that I felt I had already died. 

"Just thoughts" I implied using the least obvious answer possible. 

"About what?" Haunting memories of what I told myself filled my head and I began to shake. 

"I do not wish to worry you as it will only do so if I shall answer your question" 

He placed his hand on my shoulder and I flinched visibly, luckily he didn't notice "laddie, I don't care how bad it is, I can take it and I want to help you" he is lying. He is using you. He will gather all of your trust and then throw it away by breaking your heart. He will tell Aragorn everything and Aragorn will never speak to you again. Take his hand off your shoulder. 

"No Gimli you shouldn't help me, I do not wish to draw you any deeper into my worries that I am too weak to handle. you have helped me so much and I thank you for that but now it is time for me to handle some of my own problems by myself" I tried to stop myself but my heart spoke. What I never wanted to say to him, things that I wanted to keep hidden from him. I needed his help and I wanted his help but my heart wanted it to keep itself as a closed cage. Not letting anyone in. Not letting myself trust anyone. That is how I live now. 

~back to the present~ 

I stumbled through the corridors, getting many concerned glances and stares along the way. I didn't take any notice, my mind was foggy and the only thing I could focus on was being alone, just for five minutes. My hand traced the wall, feeling it's various patterns and using it as a way of guidance. 

I memorise everything, everywhere I go so that I can use it to guide me if my need for something was dire. I wish that this could just be over. Although this is only the first stage when you fade. I walked into my chambers and collapsed onto my bed, loosing conciseness in the process hoping that when I wake up, everything will be back to normal.


	9. Legolas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is wrong with Legolas.

Arwen's PoV: 

I sat down next to Aragorn at his desk. Éowyn and I had spent the day together wandering the city and nature beyond. We had formed a true friendship that I hope will never break, she is a woman of true kindness and a healing herb that can mend any wounds, even mine that seems to never leave me. 

My wavy brown hair flowed down my back as I stared at Aragorn as he worked. Boredly, I shifted my gaze towards his hair and began to braid it as some form of entertainment. He hummed softly "people are demanding allowance of homosexual marriage Arwen, what do you think I should say?" 

"Okay," I said as I finished his elf style braids. They looked exactly like Legolas's and I found myself hiding giggles. 

"Just okay?" He turned around and faced me as I lay my hands down on my sides once again. 

"Well, it is hard to function when you are sitting down all day" I stated and stood up while reaching out a hand for Aragorn to grab "Come on melleth, accompany me to the gardens, let your mind be free from this just for a little while" when he didn't respond I spoke again "no one is expecting you to work this hard, you have already worked past your limit for today than any other king would dare"

"I just want to make a good impression" 

"And you have, they need to see their kings face" I placed my hands on his shoulders "a happy king is better than a working king and I can tell that you are not happy constantly working, so come on" I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. 

"I guess a little fresh air won't harm me" he smiled and stood up. We walked down the hall silently with our hands entwined, we crossed many guards who bowed and greeted us until we finally reached the flower-filled garden. 

The scent of grass and roses filled my nose and I smiled, letting out a breath that I hadn't knew I was holding for so long. I could tell that Aragorn was just as relaxed as he sat down on the grass and patted the floor for me to sit down next to him. "These flowers are beautiful," I said in wonder as I looked upon the beautiful crimson roses that stood out more than anything "it's a surprise that there are not many people here" 

A smile formed on his face and I caught myself staring. He looked so handsome when he smiled, those bright grey eyes holding nothing more than sheer happiness, an emotion that I have not seen in him for a long time "no one is allowed in here apart from royals" 

"That is probably why I have only seen royals in here. I think we should make this place open to everyone otherwise our friends won't be allowed in" 

"Our friends are allowed in but no one else is, apparently it is tradition" I just hummed in response "Legolas usually comes here the most when he wants to be alone. He adores this garden. I worry about him Arwen, he hasn't been acting himself lately"

I held his hand comfortingly and kissed his cheek "I have noticed too, I have caught him off guard sometimes when he thought nobody was looking almost as if he was masking his true self" 

He looked at me with pure worry and I instantly felt sympathy for him, they are best friends but Aragorn must felt betrayed that Legolas wouldn't tell him what was wrong "what do you mean Arwen?" 

"I have seen these symptoms before, empty eyes, pale skin and sadness. I think I have a pretty good idea what is going on but I wasn't sure if I should talk to him about it, but now that you have noticed too, I am starting to get worried" Sadness boiled inside of me as I remembered how I lost one of my friends from a broken heart. Why didn't he tell me? My head drained out all of the sounds around me as I tried to piece things together. 

"Symptoms of what?" I didn't answer his question, he is fading what's all that was going through my mind. How long has he been covering this up? He could die any minute for all I know. My face paled and I stared at him with panicked eyes. "Arwen? Arwen! What's going on?" He yelled as I ran out of the garden, his hurried footsteps following my lead as I headed towards Legolas's chambers "Legolas?" I now had tears running down my cheeks. I cannot lose him, I have known him since I was an elfling, he is my best friend. 

"Arwen!" He finally caught up to me and grabbed onto the hem of my sleeve, pulling me back as I struggled to get away. He turned me around and his eyes widened when he saw that I was crying "what is going on? Why are you crying?" 

My face was pale and I was shaking. I would only ever get scared like this if something terrible was going to happen and Aragorn knew that "you don't understand, I need to get to him" a guard walked by us and I called out to him " excuse me, have you seen Prince Legolas?" 

"Yes my queen, I saw him walk to his chambers" he frowned "he looked weak, he was holding onto the wall for support like he was about to collapse, I was going to ask him if he needed help but he closed his door before I could say anything" 

"Was he injured?" Aragorn asked with full concern in his voice. tearing up hearing about the state of his friend. 

"No my king, that was what worried me the most" 

"Thank you" he bowed at up and I stared at Aragorn, without another word uttered we both ran in the direction of Legolas's chambers. When we got there, I pounded on the door but there was no answer. Aragorn pushed me to the side gently and laid his ear against the door to catch any sounds from inside. 

When he didn't say anything, I looked at him horrified. He slouched down against the door and put his head in his hands. I put my hand on the handle of the door and breathed in hoping that it was unlocked, I pushed down and just to my relief it was open. I bolted inside and what I saw in front of me made me go even paler.


	10. Tears

Aragorn's PoV: 

I looked up at Arwen as she bolted into Legolas's room, her face as pale as paper and I quickly stood up and followed behind her just as worried. What I saw made me feel physically sick and that wasn't just because I felt sick. 

Legolas was sprawled out across the bed, his hair covering half of his face and his breathing rapid. He looked deathly pale and his eyes were empty. Just empty, as if someone had just sucked out his soul and left a body. But what stood out to me the most was his tears, the way they flowed down his face full of pain. They confused me so. Why? he never cries. His lips quivered as if trying to call out for someone he needed desperately. 

Arwen walked forwards and grasped his pale hand causing Legolas to yelp slightly. She whispered soothing words in elvish as he kept muttering random words. Suddenly sense came back to me and I hurried forward and crouched beside the bed, taking in the scene before me. It looked as if Legolas was in his own world, talking to a random person that wasn't there.

"What is wrong with him?" Instead of answering my question she sat him up made him look straight into her eyes while he was still in his daze like state. I shuffled around to sit next to Arwen to get a better view of him. 

Tears cascaded down his cheeks unstoppably and fell onto his hands below. A sort of pain filled my heart seeing him like this, well, of course, I would he is my friend. I was overcome with an urge to grasp his tear-stained hand in mine for some form of comfort for his aching soul. He looked down at me still in his trance and then forced his hand away from mine and wiped his eyes as he stood up. 

I was shocked but Arwen just looked at him with sympathy. She understood everything but I didn't, I was beyond confused. What is going on? Why wasn't anyone saying anything? Why do I not understand? Is there something I missed? 

"Legolas you are okay?" It came out more like a question than a statement and I wiped my hands on my trousers and stood up. He now had his back to us, staring at the wall completely still. His hands were shaking still with shock or fear I didn't know but what I did know was that he seemed truly terrified, more so than I have ever seen him before. Ever. "You were not supposed to see that, what are you doing here? The both of you?" 

"We were worried. Legolas I understand what is going on" Arwen spoke up and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. I opened my mouth to speak but she silenced me with a wave of her hand. "Please, let me help you?" 

"No elf or human has ever seen me that weak before" he turned around and gave us an intense stare. 

"What about a dwarf?" He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off "so Gimli has seen this all before has he? You never thought to tell me?" I was hurt. Did I not mean anything to him? 

"You don't understand" 

"I don't care just what is going on!" I demanded. 

"Even if I wanted to tell you, I can't because it is not that simple" he said keeping his usual calm attitude as I stood there with nothing but confusion flowing throughout my entire body. just minutes before, he was crying, shaking and calling out to someone who wasn't there. 

"So it is simple to tell Gimli but not me? I would've helped you and I still Want to. Please" we connected our eyes for a long while. I saw a debate going on inside his head and he opened his mouth to speak. "I-" 

"Lassie? Legolas, I can't find Aragorn-" Gimli Why did you have to come in here now of all times? "Oh hi, Aragorn I just wanted to see you. What are you talking about? You all look like ghosts" I growled and marched out of the room, shaking my head in the process "Aragorn?" I ignored his calls and carried on walking away to my chambers. To think. 

He was about to tell me! 

Or am I just overreacting? Was he going to tell me? Or was he just going to lay my hopes down?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is also on Wattpad and its kinda my first time using Ao3 so yeah 
> 
> I hope you like it


End file.
